I wish I could call you, and explain why I came late, 4 months late to be specific. Or at least I wish you could call me and explain why didn't you waited for me. I tried, I got myself in a big rush and won 20 days against time, but anyway you were already gone. Where? I still don't know.
It's curious, I feel like we could have speak about everything. I feel like it would have been easier learn english by your side. I feel like you would have supported me in every desition I have made so far. Maybe I could have been more musical and less shy. Maybe I would know more about food, history and geography. I would be a better person, a smarter girl. I would be more like you and less like me.
But now, 19 years after, I still find you in some of the things that I do, even though we didn't meet, I also see you around, some of my favorite persons are so similiar to the memories that you left in this world. Sometimes I'm so jealous because all of them actually met you. But then I see myself behaving in the way I do, following my heart, non listening to anything else and I know you are still here, for me but also for you.
The laugh, the eyes, the mood of giving everything for love, the non stop days and the imagination flying above the clouds, the lack of patience, the joy for listening, the proud and the happiness.
I can't explain myself why, but I know that you will explain it to me someday, so, for now I just can dream about you, close my eyes and know that you are part of me, as much as I was part of you, before coming to this place.
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